Seven Virtues

Seven Virtues

Their write-up on me is far deeper than any of my stuff actually is.

All procedes go to really expensive prenatal vitamins.

Manny

It may be harsh but this is hysterical.

Hope.

A few months ago maybe 8 search results came up. Check this out.

Massage Therapist Listings in Portland

We got tickets!

On May 27, 2009 Lisa and I will be visiting one of my favorite places on earth, Wrigley Field. Life is good.

Dear meth addicted teenager who Stole $20 from me,

I am sorry. I am sorry your life is so horrible. I am sorry you live on the streets. I am sorry for whatever caused you to become the pale emaciated shell of a person that has to steal from people on the streetcar whose one joy of the day was taking a slightly longer lunch and getting to eat food that didn't come from a can. I am sorry that you are so angry. I am sorry that anger led to a curt "Fuck You!" as you lobbed my emptied wallet over your shoulder as you ran for the MAX. I must have deserved it.

For My Birthday

http://www.mlb.com/mlb/subscriptions/index.jsp

Pleeeeeeeeease. Our free cable is going away and I work almost all days WGN games are on.

That Felt Good

Where the Wild Things Are.

I cannot tell you how much I loved, and still love, this book. When I heard there was going to be a movie made I was excited but uneasy due to the closeness of the book to my heart. I was worried they would "Disney up" the book by adding brighter colors, softer monsters, some sort of shallow humor thrown in.
When I saw this I felt better. In fact, I cried. Now, I am a sucker who tends to cry a lot often due to lack of sleep and a strong sense of nostalgia. One time I even cried at a soap commercial at 4am because it reminded me of the bond between a parent and child. This trailer hit the nostalgia string hard.
However, its not just the nostalgia that is moving me to tears when I see this trailer. It's the creative beauty of every single thing in it. It is like Maurice Sendak's art is living. Watch for yourself.

Help With Framing Supplies

Okay, I just got another place to show my work lined up for April so any non masked art I am letting go for 50% of the price listed on ianseniff.blogspot.com
I know no one has money these days but tell absolutely everyone about it. Maybe someone would like some dirt cheap wall decoration.
I need some frames to stuff my art into as well as eyelets, wire and that brown paper for the back. Can you tell I used to be a framer?
I don't want these people thinking I am a slob.

-Ian

Microspider

Just to clarify, as Lisa did not know, the spider was inside the screen on top of the numbers. The microwave readout was 88 because I wanted to better illuminate it.

Our Microwave Friend

Look closely at the top of the eights.

Art Prices

Head over to The Art of Ian Seniff for some recession sale prices. Everything that is framed has been priced to sell! I am also going to begin to do commissions. So if you know anyone who actually has money to spend, send them over.

I hate to cut costs on this stuff but I keep making more and more and our apartment is just too damned small for all this. What good is a painting sitting in a corner? Plus Sallie Mae may kill me if I don't pay up. I seriously think they hire demons as operators.

Cubs vs Angels

Today in about an hour the Cubs will be playing the Angels. Its a split squad but I think we can take you.

Tomorrows game will be broadcast on WGN, it is also against the Angels.

Is anyone else as excited as I am for the season to begin for real? Get ready to be bored silly by baseball jargon, non-enthusiasts.

Time Change

Is anyone feeling super sleepy right now?

Good Bye, Dziadzia

It is after 4:30 am in Indiana, 1:30 am in Portland. Either way you look at it, it is a time where most people are asleep. Right now, clearly, I am not one of those people. Yesterday was supposed to be a day of closure but here I am typing away, restless as ever. My former home feels unfamiliar and my wife is 3,000 miles away. My hand has a bruise on it from the casket, it doesn't hurt.

For those of you who didn't know Ervin Jankowski, I feel sorry for you. You missed out on encountering one of the most sincere and endearing individuals of the past 100 years. As far as grandfathers go, I do not think it gets much better.
When a 6 year old me needed a partner to play catch with while mother worked overtime, Dziadzia would lumber out, put on a mitt and run after poorly thrown pitches that rolled down the hill. If I had a sporting event, Erv would be there. And although he would be drowned out by the boisterous cheers of my mother, his support rang clear and true. He brought joy to our little faces at Christmas time when he played Santa. When we became old enough to know it was him, the joy remained, even increased, as we watched a younger generation be filled with that sense of wonderment that only an old Polish man with a huge nose and a hearty laugh dressed as Santa can bring.

The last time I talked with him he asked about Lisa (He had a thing for beautiful women). The conversation was brief as he wasn't much of a talker but he sounded great in that short time before he handed off the phone to Busia per the normal routine. While the conversation was always brief, the message was always conveyed with utmost clarity. You could tell through a shrug or a pause how he was feeling that day. That last time we talked was a good day. I could tell he was happy for me. He was happy that his grandson found love. He was proud of me. He was always proud of me, of all the grandchildren, even when I was terrible. That is who he was. That is what made him wonderful.

I think I can sleep now. God bless you, Dziadzia.

Things are better than ever.

Okay, so we still have less than zero dollars and Lisa is exhausting herself trying to obtain a profession that makes sure we have more than zero dollars in the future while maintaining a job to keep our amount below zero minimal. But I have to say we are happy. Good friends are abundant (over 4!). Forward progress in regards to goal accomplishment is moving forward at a rate not seen since... well... ever. I am having fun with art and that had led to a mass production. Lisa smiles all the time. The cats are adorable, yet occasionally barfy and poo smelly. Here are examples of cuteness:


and



My job seems better now that everyone else has no job. The winter is coming to an end. We are going to vacation at the coast for $45 a night and split that with another couple making it super cheap and great.

Thats all. I figured a little positivity would be good in these oh so dreary February days.

-Ian

Dear Hunts

While I was on the Gmail, the ad at the top sent me here. I am posting this in all seriousness as I am worried for your company -- that guy on the main page means business.

Also, I had no idea the painting business was the greatest business in the world. I would have assumed the video game or puppy industries would be superior.

Happy Birthday!

Dad Hunt, I hope this birthday finds you well. I would have called but I have been at work for the past twelve hours and my breaks were spent working or falling into one of those "stare comas". I would have left a facebook message but we are no longer friends. Whats up with that? If you deleted me for a free Whopper, thats okay, I did that to a lot of people.
Anyway, you are a great father-in-law who I truly appreciate for more than just someone to jaw about baseball with. Your compassion is endless and your hear is pure. I wish you all the best in all the years to come. And finally, since I couldn't get you on the phone, here is a slice of what you would of gotten, just pretend this this guy is me (In a way he is me, as I am the guy at the party who sings Sto Lat while everyone else stares):



Now you try:



With love,

Ian

I make art

http://ianseniff.blogspot.com/

One of the many new ones is up. Terrible picture.

I stepped on glass. . .

. . .and cut my toe. Sympathy cards can be sent to

Ian Seniff
1880 SW 5th ave
Apt 41
Portland, OR 97201

Spring Training

The Cubs are in Mesa, AZ, and I just found out the Angels are in Tempe, AZ. These are 15 minutes apart.
Dad Hunt, I think we found something to attend together in the future.

Hello everybody

So the last month was quite eventful. In case you haven't been filled in fully here is a list of the goings on:

1. Layoffs at work, not me but I do not feel very secure at work anymore.

2. I now have to pay into my benefits. Very lame when you consider that it counteracts the 3% cost of living pay increase we got a few months ago and then some by taking away around 6% of our income.

3. Cubs trade their top prospect from 2006 and 07 Felix Pie for a sub par lefty. Pie's year wasn't great last year but he only played in a little over 45 games. What the heck Cubs?
We acquired Milton Bradley who game an emotional speech after signing a 3 year contract, the longest of his career. His attitude seemed positive which is in contrast with the persona he has put forth over the past 3 years. He seemed sincere but actions speak louder than words so we will see. I just hope he stays healthy and uses Wrigley to set a nice career home run record this season.

4. Lisa is attending school. She seems to be enjoying it. I have been experiencing flashbacks to my school days. It's not because she is studying a lot or rushing off to class thus reminding me of my college days. No, it is in the dealing with Sallie Mae. I forgot what it was like to have them not return calls and be completely passive. How I miss those days. Now they seem to inject Wolverine blood into their employees so they can attack their prey (me) with ruthless aggression when a payment is late.

5. I am writing a column for portlandbeer.org. This is fun and I wish it could be my job.

6. I have started a personal mission to draw a complete drawing of a Star Wars character every day. 365daysofstarwars.blogspot.com. This too is fun and I wish it could be my job.

7. I applied to do some post baccalaureate studies at Portland State. This may or may not be to help ease me back in to school, I haven't decided. I loathe the prospect of going to grad school but I loathe being poor nearly as much. I do plan on mastering the German language though.

8. Attempts to train for a 10 or 5k have failed. Running takes time, time we have little of. I have lost a bit of weight though. I try to walk at least 6 miles a day. My job makes this easy since I count pacing as walking.

9. I am doing a lot of art.

10. My book got canceled. Here is what the second page looks like. Luke did the colors:





Welcome to being up to speed.

Her Husband is a Geek

http://365daysofstarwars.blogspot.com/

My husband is famous. No big deal.

Okay, Ian is totally hot. Read his beer musings, hot off the presses.

Dear Cubs,

Stop getting rid of my favorite players.

Thanks,

Ian Seniff

Merry Christmas

I've never been there but it sure looks nice.

Oh Michigan, Michigan state. How I'd love to live in you.

He is Ours, Stay Away

Peavy

Even neater than the wish list

If you type my name into Amazon's search engine, my book comes up. How many people can say that? Probably a lot but this is neat to me!

-Ian

Christmas and Birthdays

I was on Amazon today and I was amazed to find that it is not just a book and music store anymore. In addition, they have a wish list feature where you can put what you want on it. Fantastic, huh?
So if there is anyone out there who is having a birthday come up, maybe on the 13th, they should set one of these up because their husband isn't very good at gift giving and Amazon has great bargains.
Also, if any parents out there have something they would like for Christmas, why not set one of these up as well? Boy that would be swell!
Otherwise you better not scoff at yet another painting Ian gives you.

My money making scheme

Michael J Fox

This is a great idea.

New Art and News

Ian will be in a benefit art show on February 1st at a real gallery in the Pearl! Hooray for Ian (me)! Also, Ian (me)has leads on a winery and one other group show.

So if you know of anyone who wants artwork, they should get it while it is cheap from this up and coming artist (me). I think we are all struggling financially so go find people who aren't and tell them "Hey, Ian Seniff's paintings make great gifts for the holidays!".
When they say "Get away from me stranger, I am trying to do my shopping." you simply retort with "Why not shop for the wonderful art of Ian Seniff?" Then run as they call the police.

I (Ian) will also trade art for a large scanner, gold, wishes or hugs.

I am getting excited for California, I just watched a documentary called Confessions of a Superhero about the people who dress up like superheroes and take pictures with tourists on Hollywood Boulevard for tips. Needless to say, I have to meet these people.

Bye.

God bless you, Mr. Vonnegut

Upon completion of Jailbird, I am officially half way though the novels of Kurt Vonnegut. Every time I pick up one of this man's books it makes me a little more proud of being from Indiana. I know that us being from the same state is overall pretty meaningless, but oh well.
If you haven't done it yet pick up one of these amazing novels. Mom, read Bluebeard while you are recovering from surgery. It is my favorite and it will get you ready to paint again.

Politics

Hi, its me, Ian. I am related to you in some way. I like to argue and I love to debate. If you need proof of that you can go back to the wonderful NL vs AL post we recently had down below this post. And as much as I like to argue, I tend not to like to argue politics. I don't really even like to talk about them unless I am 99 percent certain that you agree with me. The reason for this is because I get worked up a great deal about politics. It may stem from seeing my father going through the election process and hearing all of the lies that were shouted at the most honest and decent man I have ever known and wondering how anyone could buy into this garbage. Or it could come from seeing people buying into that garbage. Anyway, the only reason I am telling you this is to show how important this is to me and I know I am sticking out my neck since I am pretty sure some of you are not voting the way that to me seems to be the only option. And you know what? That is fine. I just want everyone to vote and vote for the right reasons.

I am voting for Barack Obama. You do not have to.

However if plan to vote for John McCain, please read this letter by Adam McKaye. It summarizes the way I feel perfectly.

If you're voting for McCain and you've clicked to read this I promise this will be pain free and fast. First off, I respect you for voting tomorrow. Right away you've set yourself above the apathetic millions and clearly you care about this country.

Before you punch, click or fill in your ballot for John McCain I would like to have a small one sided non-argumentative conversation with you as a person who also cares whether this country continues to grow and flourish or not.

If you're not going to vote for Barack Obama because of the emails and rumors that he is a terrorist or hangs out with criminals or is a Muslim please do not let that be the reason.

This begs the first question: why in the hell should you listen to me? Well my answer would be, why not? I have no tax breaks or corporate interests to be supported by Barack Obama. In fact, as someone who makes over 250k a year I will pay more. So why would I lie or shill for him unless I truly believed he is the right choice?

And remember, there were a lot of us who said very early on that Bush was up to no good and that the Iraq war would be a mistake. If you voted for Bush in the past why not at least listen to another point of view? If you're one of the twenty something percent who still think Bush has done a good job then I'm guessing you aren't reading this anyway.

The bottom line is that I believe no one wants a bad leader on purpose so clearly you were given some bum information if you voted for Bush. That's okay. You were doing the best you could. But don't rely on that very same information all over again. Whether it be FOX news, emails or friends or family.

Which brings me back to the rumors and emails about Obama. They are false. Not only are they false, they're crazy false. They are. And it would be a tragedy for anyone to make a decision based on those kinds of dark ugly lies.

It's also possible you are voting for McCain because he is "pro-life." I ask you to please remember that there is not one person in this country who thinks abortion is a "good" thing. The only reason any of us think that it should be open as an option to women is because if it wasn't, then people would do it anyway and they be hurt and assaulted by creeps offering illegal abortions. That is literally the only reason. The way to stop abortion is to offer sex education and protection. For that reason there were fewer abortions during the Clinton administration then during the Bush tenure.

If by chance your religion is against protection or sex education then I ask you to question that stance and any group that resists educating kids about how easy it is to have a baby. After all, is there anything more precious than a baby? Nope.

I'm almost done. Stay with me (or stay against me but please keep reading).

If you are a person who is voting for McCain because you think Obama is a communist who wants to redistribute the wealth, I know you are smarter than that. Bush already gave obscene tax breaks to people like me and Warren Buffet and we are saying it's not fair. Why would we work against our own interests? The answer is simple: because fair taxation makes the whole country stronger and if the country isn't strong our money ends up disappearing anyway (see massive stock market crash currently in progress). Bush redistributed the wealth and McCain has been very clear that he will continue to give tax breaks to big corporations and the wealthy in the name of trickle down economics. He really truly has. It's a big fat fact.

I also know that from years of Corporatists and fundamentalists turning the word "liberal" into a code word for gays and hippies and commies you think that blue staters all want to corrupt our country and have people marrying dogs and smoking crack and burning Christmas trees. Here's the real truth we're pretty much just like you. We really, truly are.

And finally if you are not voting for Barack because of the color of his skin, then there may be nothing I can say to you. But I just ask that you really consider this decision. Can anything good come of a backward way of thinking like judging someone based on skin color? No way. And I think in your heart of hearts you know that is very true. The world is changing and if we think and act like it's the 1600s then America will slip hard.

That's it. Thank you for reading. Now let's send a message to the world and our children that the United States learns from it's mistakes and can change when necessary. Remember, you're alone in that voting booth. You don't have to tell your McCain loving friends who you voted for. And chances are one or two of them will secretly vote for Obama. And as a reward for reading this a 30% off coupon for Dave & Busters is being sent to your home.

Corn Nuts

I loathe Corn Nuts but I love the barbecue flavoring they are covered in. Its the best barbecue flavoring in the world. Why don't they cover chips in this stuff? It would save me the hassle of breaking my teeth with these godforsaken Corn Nuts.

Sickness

I am sick. I am about to go work a twelve hour day. I am not too thrilled.

-Ian

Edit: While at work I smashed my thumb in a door leaving the tip of it hanging by skin. I then put it back together with tape and gauze. I am fairly miserable.

Another reason we want to move

Is because this and this and this are all cheaper than this and this lovely garage with a house possibly attached.

With that snowfall comes mortgages lower than rent as well as job opportunities for our soon to be massage therapist in Grand Rapids' rapidly growing medical industry. Plus the cold just means more cuddling. Aww.

A Small Request

This Indiana boy wants to do some LA sight-seeing on this upcoming trip. I am talking walk-of-fame, Hollywood sign, Universal Studios type touristy stuff. Sure, I would like to go to the Geddy, MOCA and LACMA too, and I will, but I need to do this trip like a true out-of-towner. So what do you say you Southern California inhabitants? Is it a deal? Get your cameras ready!
Oh, I would also like to go to an amusement park.

Ian

Not Sports-Related

Just a little something I worked up:

	Portland	Grand Rapids
Total Population	513,627	193,568
Median Age	36.4	30.8
Owner-Occupied Homes	56.6%	61.5%
Median Cost of a Home	$320,170	$99,877
Median Mortgage Payment	$1,008	$612
Median Monthly Rent	$696	639
Median Income for All Workers (PT & FT)	$27,295	$22,455
Unemployment Rate	7.9%	11.3%
Household Income $0-$24,999	31%	31%
Household Income $25,000-$74,999	45%	51%
Household Income $75,000-$199,999	22%	16%
Household Income $200,000 or more	3%	1%
High School Graduate	21%	26%
Some College	24%	22%
Bachelor’s Degree	25%	17%
Graduate Degree	14%	9%
Never Married	34%	39%
Currently Married	45%	41%
Divorced	14%	12%
White	83%	70%
Black or African American	6%	22%
Carpool	10.4%	13.9%
Public Transportation	13.3%	2.4%
Average Travel Time	23 Minutes	19 Minutes
Average January High	45.5 °	29.3 °
Average January Low	36.7 °	15.6 °
Average July High	78.9 °	82.3 °
Average July Low	57.3 °	60.5 °

Mom & Dad Hunt: we'll see you there in a few years, right? Everything looks great except that 30F high in January. I'd say it's worth the trade for your 125F August.

-Lisa

Go Halos, go Dodgers

Alright, tomorrow the Angels are going to win. They will then streak through the playoffs to face to Dodgers in the World Series. They will then trounce the Dodgers and bring home a championship leaving Torre and his crew to wallow in their broken dreams of glory.

Dad Hunt, you have a new Angels (while remaining a die hard Cubs fan who will continue to bleed royal blue) fan on your hands.

Lets go Halos!

C'mon Cubbies!

Alright, its looking bad. But I am getting sick of this pessimistic attitude that is dominating sports media about Chicago reinforcing this damned "curse" talk.
Well here is me venting some positive rage:

Cubs have gone on 3 or more game winning streaks 15 times this year and another one can start tomorrow.
One of these winning streaks included a 3 game sweep of the Dodgers in May.
Remember 2001? Yankees made it to the Series after dropping the first 2. (They were only beaten in the series due to the amazing performance of one Mark Grace, my all time favorite player. Lead off hit, bottom of the ninth, led the rally. . . Amazing Series. And yeah, I am well aware Torre was at the helm.)
Harden is pitching tomorrow. He is 5-1 with a 1.77 ERA since switching leagues. Inning-for-inning, he's been as dominant as CC Sabathia, but hasn't gotten the same publicity.
Kuroda is 9-10 with a 3.73 ERA and this is his first playoff appearance.

It ain't over 'till its over.

Ugh

Ugh.

You Boys...

The teacher I work with is all about sports too. And all the kids in the class are teenage boys, also sports fans. I can't escape it.

On an unrelated point, I AM SO SORRY for taking this long to get the pictures out to you. We can't figure out how to get the images burned onto the blank disc. We are completely stumped. It seems like it should be easy enough, but apparently you have to be a super-genius computer programmer to do it. So how about if we just send you the original and you (carefully) pass it along to everyone else? We'll start with mom and dad hunt, and I'm hoping dad can figure it out and maybe make copies himself to send out? I just want to end up with an unscratched original disc. It seems risky, but I don't know of any alternatives at this point.

Also, my phone is still broken, so if you need to reach me you can call me at work (503.262.4207) between 11:15 am and 12:30 pm, or after 1:50 pm. I am hoping to take Ian's phone after the 11th when he is eligible for an upgrade. My number won't change, but the phone will work. Hooray!

And happy debate watching!

Lisa

Why do these bills happen every month?

Seriously! I thought I just paid you! What do you mean overdue? Curses!

Good news is, on Friday, we are completely on track with our bills. And all without starving! Thanks to this being a new year, Lisa is getting paid closer to a livable income. Closer. I still make squat.

Bad news is, those bills keep coming and they refuse to cease until we either pay off our debt or stop using electricity. And as we found out yesterday when we blew a fuse and had 2 hours until it could be changed, we do not function well without our modern conveniences.

Good news is, Bears won Sunday and the NLDS starts tomorrow with all games televised on FOX. No need to leave the house, the Cubs are coming to me! Oh, are the Halos playing on TBS? Can't even make it to a major network, eh? Speaking of the Angels, have you ever seen the episode of The Simpsons with Mike Scioscia? If you haven't you should.







Thats him crouching below an animated Don Mattingly and to the left of Smithers.


Bye!

Ian

Cleaning

I have been cleaning this house for two days. It is an endless task. 500 square feet is way bigger than it feels.

In other news, a few days ago the Cubs clinched their division. They would have done it sooner but their division is actually a tough one as opposed to a certain "cakewalk" division such as the AL West. Seriously, if we don't get a championship this year. . . well, I would do the same thing I have done every year since I began following that team: "We'll get 'em next year"
However, until that time I will be displaying the eternal optimism that makes Cubs fans Cubs fans: "Go Cubs! Its gonna happen!"
Oh, and although it would be interesting to see, please do not encourage the White Sox at all. I love Chicago way to much to see it burn down after the World Series, regardless of the outcome.
For the Hunts, I am not sure if I have explained the hatred that goes on between Sox and Cubs fans, but they are like the Hatfield and McCoys of baseball. Bad blood, I tells ya.

Ian

Back

Hurts!

Found on the Max:

And now for your weekly addition of Found on the Max , where I showcase a delightful tidbit that I have encountered while riding the Max on my daily commute:

Today we have a love letter, it seems. Or several rough drafts of what will soon be a love letter. Below is an unedited transcription of one of the drafts.

1 To my princess my Love.
2 One Rose for the one who bears the sweetest name 3) the must beuitful woman alive there is no ather woman in this world that can take your place when we kiss it fills like i have Die in gone to haven when we tuch you make my body Shake and Shiver to the beuitful woman in side and out there is ather woman that can compare to you when i kiss you it fills like i have die in gone to haven when i tuch you beuitiful latina skin it makes my body Shake and Siver Shiver your my love.

I have to say, that pretty much sums up the feelings I have for Ian. Well stated, my anonymous, lovesick Max friend.

Okay, on an unrelated note, our bed is crap. I have a crick in my neck that would put tears on a...one of those people who lay on beds of nails. After Christmas visiting: mattress time!

-Lisa

What we are working on.

*sigh*

Well, the Honeymoon is over and its time to get down to business. What we are deciding now is what business we want that to be.

For me, I am thinking about sticking to the art stuff. And by "thinking about" I mean "definitely going to". I am part of a new anthology coming out in little under a year and I am starting to work on a solo book to pitch around at this years Wizard World convention in Chicago. In addition I am going to be mailing local comic book companies my resume once a month and attend every convention in the North West. In short, the museum is nice but it is managed in such a way that it is clear my future does not lie there.
As for Lisa, we were checking out the Grand Rapids Craigslist last night and it is clear that that place is in need of anyone in the medical field. In particular, it seems that massage therapists are making a very comfortable living (median income: $42,000, which goes way farther in the Midwest than it would in Portland). So tonight Lisa is attending a meeting session at the Oregon School of Massage. This school is highly regarded for massage therapy and is the only school that actually requires you to get a massage before enrolling and during school. It will be tough goings for us financially while she is in school, but in the long run it is an investment that will pay off.

In other news, it looks as if seeing both families at Christmas time is a no go. In order to conserve resources we will be visiting the Hunt family this year. I have taken off December 16 - 23 from work. I hope the Christmas party falls somewhere inbetween those dates as this was the only time I can muster off of work. Its a long way away still but when your department is horribly understaffed, getting time off around the holidays is like a battle where you have to strike early and decisively.
Do not worry Seniffs, we will be there in May for Brian's wedding as well as checking out Grand Rapids and possibly a few nights on Mackinac Island.

Okay, I am off to train for a 5k that I will destroy Lisa in. I am also regrowing my beard in preparation for winter months.

-Ian

Hi, We're the Seniffs. . .

. . . And here is where you can find out all about what is going on in our lives.

More to come soon.

-Ian